I don't often attempt humor here, and my husband only gave it mild chuckle, but I've had this post concocting in my head too long not to share it. I don't mean to be offensive or too stereotypical, or even label things "good" or "bad," I just find the differences funnier the longer we live outside The Metro. Feel free to add your own in the com box!
14 Differences Between the City & the Country
(besides the obvious lack of good restaurants, arts, and culture)
14. Men's Fashion:
City: Pink shirts, fur collars, plain front pants, Ugg boots - totally metro-sexual.
Country: Polaris (snowmobile) jackets, hooded sweatshirts and everyday jeans.
13. Women's Fashion:
City: Pretty much everyone has switched to skinny jeans and tall boots.
Country: The working moms sport salon hair and the latest styles but we SAHMs are still in the same jeans and tees we bought ten years ago.
12. Family Size:
City - Why on earth would you want more than two?
Country - Three, four, or more!
11. Farm Fresh Food:
City - Wonderful farmer's markets and natural food co-ops.
Country - Buy direct from the farmer once you get to know the county roads.
10. Public Parks:
City - Treated for mosquitoes
Country - Infested with mosquitoes.
9. Flora:
City - A few truly outstanding public gardens.
Country - Better study up on wildflowers of Minnesota as well as deer-proof perennials.
8. Fauna:
City - The usual birds, squirrels, and occasional deer.
Country - Fox, opossum, raccoon, eagles, hawks, woodpeckers, deer, and occasional bears.
7. Libraries:
City - Pretty much any book you want and free museum adventure passes.
Country - Better learn how to use ILL and buy family memberships to your favorite museums.
6. Parking:
City - Hail Mary full of grace, help me find a parking space!
Country - A likely place to get into an accident they way people speed across the lines of all the empty spaces.
5. Decibel Level:
City - Traffic, delivery trucks, and airplanes overhead.
Country - The gun range, freight trains, and booming sub-woofers.
4. Vehicles:
City - Mini Coopers, convertibles, and sports cars.
Country - SUVs and pick-up trucks. Extra points for hauling snowmobiles, 4 wheelers, jet skis, a boat, or an ice fishing house.
3. Driving:
City: Better know where you are going or be tailgated.
Country: A surprising number of people (mostly women) refuse to attempt driving in the city.
2. Bumper stickers:
City -I'm Pagan and I Vote!
Country - I'm in the NRA and I Vote!
1. Safety:
City - Stray bullets through your window shot by gang members.
Country - Stray BBs shot by neighborhood boys aiming for your cat in the window!
