For someone like me who admits the fault of anticipating the future more than really living in the moment, the last month of pregnancy a joyful time of nesting and relishing in cute baby items before the grueling work (grueling but wonderful too!) of caring for a newborn begins. I think this time around I have things down pat without consulting a magazine check-list and thought it would be fun to share. Am I forgetting anything?
To Do List:
- update birth plan
- wash baby clothes
- set up crib, again
- bring up bassinet
- bring up swing (last time we got one that plugs in)
- get van interior cleaned (it gets yucky in the winter!)
- get new tires on the van (not much tread left)
- wash car seat covers
- install baby car seat and re-arrange the three boosters and one toddler Britax
- more freezer meals
- get a pedicure
- buy baby book and keepsake box
- buy some newborn diapers
- order hospital maternity gown and pillowcase
My hospital bag:
- nursing gown and robe
- Labor Ease Tea
- CDs for labor (not sure yet which ones I will bring)
- diffuser and lavender essential oil
- flameless LED tea light candles
- the Mother's Manual (little blue prayer book)
- Stretch Oil
- Postpartum Recovery Kit
- orange juice, Emergen-C and sports drinks
- snack mix
- vitamins
- Bobby pillow
- baby sling
- DVDs (some from Netflix, though I can always watch Pride & Prejudice over and over!)
- new books to read
- clothes to wear home
Baby's hospital bag:
At home:
Hopefully all this will help at least a little bit keep the two of us cozy, comfortable and healthy. I am a firm believer in being pampered for at least two or three weeks after birth. My daughter does not quite understand this yet and feels a little jealous of me based on her comment the other day: "I can't wait until I am a new mom and can get out of doing all the work." HA! Like I am doing this to get out of work! Little does she know how much I dread the deterioration of the state of my household when I am sick or caring for a new baby.
Making this packing list brings to mind so many memories of past birth experiences. I will always remember my first pregnancy and how difficult I thought it was to be pregnant. One Sunday some well-meaning woman at church came up to me, touched my belly and commented how my work was just beginning. I felt a little miffed then, but after the baby came I could not believe how much more difficult everything was than I thought it would be. After taking the Bradley Method childbirth course I was expecting a gentle trouble-free birth and a happy content baby. What I experienced was five months of nausea in pregnancy and a labor that began with my water breaking with a gush followed quickly by nausea, vomiting, terrible back labor, three hours of pushing, significant tearing, painful engorgement and a colicky baby who seemed in pain for many months who had trouble napping and would wake up every time I put her down. I developed carpel tunnel and "trigger thumb" from holding her. There was all that laundry and being spit up on and a gassy baby with leaky diapers who squirted poop on the wall in the middle of the night. She cried every second she was in the car seat. Screamed bloody murder would be more accurate. I felt for her, because she was so miserable. I felt for us, because we had so looked forward to having a baby. My nerves that first year were utterly shattered. In some ways I am still recovering from the trauma.
At least the first couple of days we were able to rest somewhat peacefully -
My eldest is a sweet nine year old now and we all find it difficult to believe our early trio of a family survived those grueling days (although there still are times . . . ). About the time she turned one she was a much happier little person and I became pregnant with our second. She was such a fun and happy baby. My husband enjoyed her more, I think, because I was still a little shell-shocked and convinced she would turn on me. Other than a bout of thrush that made her crabby she was an utter delight. The days went pretty well back then as long as the girls didn't cry at the same time.
My eldest loved having a baby sister -
I must have grown more comfortable with motherhood because a year and a half later came our third, but right in the middle of a move. Our first little house was sold, the new one was not ready and we were actually homeless for three weeks with a three month old baby. We moved to a small town outside the metro where we knew NO ONE. Winter quickly settled in and I remember spending many lonely days in our otherwise lovely new home. I felt early on that our self-imposed exile from the city was a big mistake and felt terrible because I was the main one who wanted a little more elbow room and my dear husband had found a way to make it possible. I felt guilty, depressed and overwhelmed.
In some ways, however, the days with three little ones were easy - before formal homeschooling began and I could take the kids to the park or grocery shop on a weekday morning. In other ways this was the most difficult and demanding stage of parenting. All of the physical tasks of caring for the children and keeping house exhausted me. I remember dreading the addition of window shades because opening and closing them every day would just be one more thing to do. I did not feel well at all - I struggled with PPD and almost every day my low back hurt or I had a migraine. It took years to feel better.
An MRI of my low back revealed a number of defects that explained my lumbar pain. I went through physical therapy to strengthen my low back, had a septoplasty to help my sinus/migraine pain, took up jogging, enrolled the girls in Montessori preschool, made some friends and slowly began to recover. I eventually felt physically and mentally up to another baby and more important, felt called to trust that God was indeed calling us to homeschool and be open to life again. I will admit that I enjoyed the feeling of fitting in the world with an "acceptable" number of children and was somewhat anxious about crossing the threshold into large family territory. I prayed, took a deep breath, and took the plunge. We wouldn't trade our little Pipsqueak for anything. She's the sweetheart of the family.
Even with all the sacrifices each new baby brings such great joy. Those early days of holding a wee
pink babe are fleeting and they pass more quickly every time, knowing now
how fast babies grow into independent little people. The rest of the
world might think (and many do think - they tell us so) that we are crazy to add a fifth child into our family,
but we know in our hearts and souls that children are gifts from God and we are humbled to be
trusted with the privilege of raising another soul for heaven.
Somehow the Lord has spared us of the many struggles others face: infertility, repeated miscarriage, bed rest, special needs or serious illness. Not that we haven't had other struggles . . . but hearing about the experiences shared by friends certainly makes me reflect on to evolution of our family, to pause in thanksgiving for our blessings and to pray fervently for a healthy labor and delivery.