Pinewood Castle

More On Resolutions

How do you resist making resolutions for the rest of your family? Or do you do it anyway?

We opened our time capsule on New Year's Eve and as we read through the children's resolutions from last year I was flooded with guilt about not help them achieve their goals. But then again, maybe they have to learn to really work for want they want out of life.

No, no, of course we have to help them, at least with the formation of the habits. Bigger goals they have to dream up themselves, but we mothers can help with the daily things, right? Even though it's no longer Advent and not yet Lent I put slips of paper in a silver pail for them to draw each morning. I figured it would be easier for them to have one goal each day such as:

• turn off the bathroom light today
• clear plate before leaving the table today
• sit with good posture today
• use your very best handwriting today
• chew with your mouth closed today
• stick to your schedule today
• be the first one in the van if we are going somewhere today
• flush the toilet after you use it today
• begin requests with "May I please . . . ?"
• pray for our family today
• pray for extra help to do your best
• go potty before leaving the house without being asked
• put your dirty socks in the hamper
• put your dirty underwear in the hamper

But what about husbands? Mine is unusually stellar. He replaces the toilet paper roll the correct way and puts dirty clothes in the hamper. He makes coffee every morning and breakfast while he's at it. We have separate tubes of toothpaste. He takes out the trash, pays the bills, changes poopy diapers and most nights he does the dishes. But why in the world doesn't he button his shirts when he hangs them on a hanger? Why wouldn't he put diaper cream on the toddler's bottom before bedtime if she has a rash? Why does he forget things I asked him to do and make  the excuse that it went into his "nothing box"? Why does he like to lie in bed as long as possible every morning? I joke with him, "Laziness is a sin you know." His reply, "Laziness isn't a sin if it's done in moderation!"

He can be so exasperating.

I try, I really try and still try not to make to-do lists for him anymore. Many wives think this is a demeaning practice and a way we tend to treat husbands like a children. When we got iPhones I gathered all the paper to-do lists I had made, placed them on his desk and told them he could make his own to-do list on his phone and be in charge of it from now on. This was in October. You guessed it - all those lists are still sitting on his desk and I still formulate a to-do list at least one Saturday a month.

(If you are reading this, honey, you know I love you anyway! We both know we have more serious issues to work on!)

I am absolutely positive he tolerates many more of my flaws then I do of his. He just has the good sense not to nag me about them.

I have been reflecting more on my Bucket List and truly appreciate your comments cheering me on. It edifies me to know that others think I have some good ideas. I just have to tell you though, that you are welcome to beat me to the punch with any of them! I would love to see things like a Mary Garden in a packet or an Aesop Unit study available for purchase. I am not convinced that God is telling me that I am the person to do it. I think I could if I had the time. Maybe someday I will, but it sure doesn't look like it will be in the near future.

Another email arrived that seemed to speak directly to me and my goals from Proverbs 31 Ministries:

Recently God's been showing me that when I constantly want more than He has given me, it reflects a heart that is discontent. What I'm saying to God is, "I'm not satisfied with what You have provided for me. I want more." In wanting more, I place undo pressure on myself in an attempt to get what God hasn't provided. Naturally, anxiety is the result when I focus on things other than God and His will for my life.

I think that for me, this applies to both material desires as well as the time and money for travel, experiences and projects. God has provided so much for me - a wonderful husband, beautiful children, a comfortable home, a beautiful yard and the calling and ability to home school.

I have to admit that there are times when I want to do "so much more", whether it be the things on my Bucket List or just the half a dozen craft projects I would like to do (and thought I would have time to do over the break but didn't). Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed and disappointed about not having time for these things I feel like crying.

Even though my goals and dreams have their place I have to remember what place they should hold. Right now I need to focus on what God provides for me this year, this month, this week, this hour. I hold a conviction that there is nothing more important than doing what I do as a mother and wife day in and day out. Everything I do is a creative project on a large scale and blogging is one way of turning all my efforts into something beautiful and a little more tangible to share with the world. A second income and financial security, utilizing my graduate degree, travel, ample time for my own interests; all of this can wait until the time is right. God has lessons for me in the here and now - like serving my family cheerfully and promptly. Is is any wonder that the the lack of cheerfulness and promptness is my children is what irks me the most lately? Where in the world do they learn it? From me of course! I am often reluctant to stop what I am doing to help one of my children. I have a difficult time getting out of bed and getting ready before they wake up. The constant demands of our two year old too often cause me to sigh, roll my eyes and ask another child to take care of her. Cheerful service is a virtue that really should be first on my 2010 resolution list.

Hopefully I can indulge in what Charlotte Mason would call "Mother Culture" along the way. And I do - I try to carve out some time for myself and my dreams. I have to keep my soul alive. I am reminded of a junior high school history teacher (Coach Dugan?) who posted inspirational quotes all over his walls. 

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.
~ Langston Hughes

as well as

The greatest kind of pride is that pride that makes you do your best even when no one is watching.

I think I have three lessons for 2010 - to do my best in my little somewhat hidden life, even when no one is watching (i.e. even if I didn't blog!), to hold fast to my dreams -  to continue to be inspired by goals I may may never accomplish, and to be content and satisfied with the time and experiences God provides for me.

Realism for 2010

Like I said, I wish I could begin my Bucket List this year, but with a baby on the way I will be fortunate to maintain any amount of order or organization I have fought so hard to attain the last ten years. Here's what my Bucket List contains thus far:

• Take English country dance at the Tapestry Folkdance Center.
• Learn calligraphy really well, illumination and all.
• Get a really good camera and learn how to use it.
• Learn to knit more than just scarves.
• Buy equipment, learn to camp and take kids to state and national parks.
• Find another family to camp with.
• Learn a foreign language well and attend a camp at Concordia Language Village.
• Visit Paris, Canada, England, New England and Hawaii.
• Pick up genealogy study where my late aunt left off and visit Poland to dig for more info about the Von F's.
• Design and market Mary Garden seed packets and plans.
• Write a unit study based on Aesop Fables including virtues with scripture quotes and animal arts and crafts.
• Have the time and money to go to a gym every morning and finally get and stay in great shape. Or take a long walk every day somewhere beautiful.
• Learn to ski and snowmobile while I am up here in the great white north. I have no desire to try ice fishing, however!
• Take up the clarinet again and play chamber music to my heart's content.
• Live in a 100 year old house with a big front porch, wavy glass windows, lace curtains, tall baseboards and an attic for the grandkids to explore. But first I want to build a big new house with plenty of FSF and a big main level home school room to get through the rest of our child rearing years. I have a builder in mind who would make it look old.

Ambitious for a homeschooling mom, aren't I?

My 2010 list realistically includes normal things like:

• Nose to the homeschooling grindstone for the next three months.
• Have the baby end of March or early April.
• April: Babymoon for a few weeks. Savor every minute of it!
• May: Baptism and Sunshine's FHC. Oklahoma relatives will probably visit. Register only one child in soccer this year.
• June: Finish school. Start summer activities for kids. Swimming lessons. Tennis for the girls. Maybe golf for the boy? Horse class this summer?
• July: Order curriculum for next year. Continue summer activities. Take a vacation if at all possible.
• August: Get to the lake or pool while it's hot.
• September: Back to school, nose to the grindstone, etc.

As far as any personal improvement? It will be all little things like:

• get up on time and beg God for help every morning before leaving my room
• turn off lights not in use
• improve afternoon stamina
• shut big mouth
• don't sweat the small stuff
• it's not all small stuff (like, to me, training children in good habits is not small stuff), but quit over-reacting when it is
• love my kids, they are growing up fast
• develop photos more than twice a year
• learn to utilize iPhone, especially for podcasts
• grow out hair, again
• bake more home made bread
• put away clothes before they wrinkle
• save up for a new sofa
• keep trying, don't give into despair, God is not out to get me
• trust God still know what He is doing with me and my life
• quit blogging when the clock chimes 10 pm!!!

Bye! Good night!

How to Resume

The Non-Paper MACHE I received today included a Timely Tip seemingly written just for me:

19. Timely Tip

Get up at a reasonable time each morning.

 

Years ago I asked Linda Greene to speak about "getting back in the saddle" after Christmas.  Resuming life as homeschoolers after all the celebrating and erratic schedules of the holidays can be a challenge.  Her first and foremost point was simply: "Get up!" 

 

I was shocked, but after consideration I realized how wise and realistic her challenge was.  Homeschooling offers the wonderful bonus of being able to be flexible.  However, we should never use this freedom as an excuse to be lazy.  Proverbs 24:30-34 has very stern warnings about slothfulness.

 

I would like to suggest that in order to be ready to start the day, mothers need to plan to be up at least an hour to an hour and a half before their children in order to have time for private prayer, reading, and meditation; to get dressed; to start breakfast preparations; and to get a crock pot begun for the main meal of the day (or something else well in mind).  In order to get this head start, we mothers need to make sure we are getting to bed early enough the night before. [To be completely honest, this was a very hard standard for me to personally accomplish but worth trying to achieve.]

 

Simply getting up each day can be especially challenging during these days in the middle of winter, but how very important!  We need to get up in order to get everything done, and our children need to learn to keep a regular schedule in order to function someday as responsible adults.

This week we are having "fun school" which means that regular seatwork is replaced with writing thank you notes and enjoying all the crafts and games received as gifts. Meal time, Circle Time, reading times and music practice times remain the same. I did craft a new daily schedule with real times to stick to and I think this week will provide some great practice at actually sticking to it. So far so good!

I do hope to catch up on blogging soon - I know certain relatives are eager to see Christmas pics. I was all set to post last week until we ran into some computer problems that my super duper husband got around to fixing late last night. No need to buy a new computer. Whew!

In the meantime I am enjoying reading everyone else's blog posts about their holidays!

Blessings for 2010!

The "I Wants"

Do your kids make Christmas lists? Mine have started early this year. We don't spring for many requests between birthdays and Christmas so everything they ask for after their birthday garners the response, "Put it on your Christmas list!"

Their tastes are getting more expensive. Here are some of this year's wishes:

• a hang glider (yeah, right)
• a trampoline (more likely, but not in winter!)
• an American Girl doll (do we have to start that?)
• a rock tumbler (more likely)

Then the Young Explorers catalog arrived and was promptly swiped. The cutting and pasting began. The "I Wants" are like a mosquito bite that itches the more it's scratched. I find myself feeling annoyed the more they talk about their wish lists. I remind them that they are loved, fed, clothed, educated and well cared for - isn't that all they really need? Aren't they grateful?

But - I find that the "I Wants" are also contagious. Their dreaming even gets me thinking about things that would be nice to have if we had thousands of extra dollars. List-maker that I am I do confess to keeping mental lists. Here are a few several  ~

Things for DH:

• a snow thrower (have you seen how much these cost?)
• a garage make-over
• a pressure washer
• a riding lawn mower (except we have no where to put it)
• a generator
• hire out window washing
• hire out some interior painting
• a new car to replace his '96 Accord

The home improvement wish list:

• a new sofa (daily reading time has reduced the life of ours)
• granite counter tops
• ceramic tile the bathrooms
• a deck
• finish the basement
• re-do the flagstone patio that is constantly dirty and weedy and uneven
• re-do some of the garden beds and add a tall white lattice fence behind the east garden to block the view of our neighbor's weeds

The SAHM self-care dream items:

• new maternity clothes (mine are almost all 10 years old!)
• a spa package of regular pedicures, facials, and massages
• quality facial care products now that 40 is coming (next year)
• a professional weight loss program next summer after baby #5
• some new jewelry
• a gym membership and time to exercise

Financial "I Wants" should really come first before all the material wants. Achieving these goals would even free up a chunk of the monthly budget for a few extras:

• pay off my grad school loan
• pay off the van

Nothing urgent, just things that would be nice. Hopefully this is a little sign of detachment, right? My happiness does not depend on getting any of these items. Only a few eat at me a little - like the sagging sofa, dirty windows and the dark den on the north side of the house that could use a brighter hue of paint before daylight savings ends. But mostly, thanks to an abundance of progesterone these days, I am way too tired to get worked up about it!

I also try to avoid voicing these "I Wants" around the children because I don't want to set a bad example. Hopefully I am not the contagious one infecting the children!

Other needs always seem to come first before all the extras anyway - music lessons, winter clothing needs, fireplace cleaning, firewood purchasing and annual piano tuning are the biggies we currently face. Oh, and cell phones. Our Quest service is ending for good and we have to find another phone and another plan or be charged a de-activation fee. Looks like a somewhat necessary splurge (but not really necessary) will be made for I-Phones. Last year's version.

Each of us will probably get at least one thing we want this Christmas, all the time knowing that gifts are not what the Holy Day is really about. Christmas is about Jesus and while gift giving is one way of showing our love for one another, it is certainly not the focus.

The kids like to dream and so do I. I just have to remember a wise adage my mother taught me: If your outgo is more than your income, your upkeep will be your downfall!

A New Year

Do you make resolutions? Seems kind of redundant for Catholics. I mean, we make then during Lent. We make some during Advent. We make them when we pray the Act of Contrition and when we go to confession. And I think at those times and in that context we get the grace from God to actually stick to them.

But it doesn't stop me from making them anyway, along with many plans for the new year. So my list for 2009 is an odd mix of resolutions and plans. It looks something like this:

• exercise regularly (after cleaning the basement and reacquainting myself with my treadmill I already feel like less of a blob!)
• start program with nutritionist/chiropractor I've been seeing after the car accident for health overhaul (further thyroid testing, low glycemic diet, de-tox program)
• get mercury fillings out now that the baby is weaned
• read more
• knit more - learn to knit more than just scarves
• bake more bread
• join YMCA this summer
• cook more meals for the freezer for easier weeknights
• go to the North Shore and Canada this summer
• explore future career ideas for my empty nest years (I need more social security points!)
• more love

The last one is the one that's really been bugging me. I need to take some time to recharge my love batteries.

When I struggle daily to get the kids to obey promptly I think "Love makes obedience easy. How much do I really love them and do they really love me? Do I model politeness and patience or are they just deaf and resistant to remembering the steps of our well-posted routines?"

When my husband and I quarrel or at a stand-off I think, "CLANGING CYMBAL!"

And most of all with prayer and Catholic devotions that sometimes feel tedious I think, "True love of God should really be the foundation out of which these devotions flow" and wonder if my efforts are sincere. More on this later - it's on my heart after reading Called Out of Darkness, conversion story of author Ann Rice (thanks, Sheri!)

So this is a small part of my ongoing conversion - more love. Taking joy in serving my family. With real love for God as the foundation of it all.

Thank you, everyone who reads this, for your support and friendship.

I wish you many blessings and graces for the New Year. Pray for me and I will and do pray for you too!

Tracy

Hello and Merry Christmas to everyone! I have been spending more time looking at other blogs these days, enjoying the Christmas photos and reflections. I promise I will get some of our own photos up soon. In the meantime I am enjoying my husband being home and shamelessly taking advantage by indulging in such things as two miles on the treadmill followed by a bath in the middle of the afternoon. I also took the liberty to designate today as "basement day" and tomorrow as "paperwork day". I really should take before and after photos but it would be too embarrassing!

The mood to plan also typically strikes this time of year and I enjoyed taking a whole day to plan out the month of January and spend some time on the phone making much needed dental appointments and booking the babysitter for several dates including St. Valentine's Day just six weeks away! We don't usually do anything grand, but this year I noticed some interesting offerings through the Minnesota Historical Society such as a Victorian"poetry slam" and English country dancing. Now that the baby is weaned we may just have to take advantage of such opportunities!

Also after our basement is cleaned up enough to keep me from a panic attack we are also dreaming, and I do mean financially dreaming of finishing the basement in order to move the learning room down there. That would give us many more square feet of space to "do school", free up a main level room for a little Waldorf style play room and hopefully free our little family room of toys as well. We really should be working on that 6-12 month emergency savings in times like this but I notice that is isn't stopping my husband from breaking out his tape measure and mulling over the possibilities.

I am also thinking about what direction to go with this blog. I don't have a lot of original homeschooling ideas these days. We plan to spend the next week or two getting back into a schedule and writing thank you notes for handwriting practice.Many craft kits and fun books were received as gifts so that will keep us busy before beginning Five in a Row Volume 2.

What I would love is some feedback from you about the following possibilities:

1. I could type up my seasonal plans with ideas for circle time singing, picture books and crafts and post that.
2. I could post about books and movies and CDs that I've enjoyed or have recently taken in. I am thinking along the lines of my impressions and personal responses rather than formal reviews.
3. Or I could conceivably share my conversion story. I have always felt that God may call me to share it sometime to help others. But I don't know that I am ready for that quite yet. Maybe my continuing conversion process would be easier for me. I don't know. How nosy are you?

Here it is 5:15 and we still haven't done the 12 Days of Christmas lapbook or practiced piano. Time to make dinner now - Joe and I have a date to go to the outlet mall. I am in the market for a dutch oven and Hana Anderson has a big sale. Any suggestions? Is Le Creuset worth the $$$?

Ticket to Summer

I have to admit that I am not one for sticker charts or any sort of complicated reward/incentive systems.The Charlotte Mason motto of "I Am, I Can, I Ought, I Will" is very appealing to me. I have made a goal of imprinting this motto in the minds of my children - that they should do what they ought because it is the right thing to do as a child of God. And generally they live this motto quite well. But summertime presents a challenge, doesn't it? Even though we are still "doing school" and still carrying on our general routine I have found myself constantly harping at the kids and mourning the loss of the  household cleaning schedule I kept before we began homeschooling. Most of all, I feel guilty asking my husband to pitch in with all the bathroom, vacuuming and dusting on Saturday mornings.

Thanks to Jessica's cousin's ticket idea, I think we are turning over a new leaf here at Pinewood Castle! Our goal is to get the cleaning done during the week, solidify their daily habits and encourage happy cheerful and cooperative hearts.

Here is the file for the charts that are now posted on the wall.

Download blognames.Chore Charts!.pdf

Basically,my 8yo girl has graduated to bathroom cleaning, vacuuming the upstairs and changing sheets.

My 6yo girl takes care of the cat, assists her older sister in cleaning and wipes numerous surfaces.

My 5yo boy is my #1 laundry helper, wipes surfaces and deadheads petunias.

They all help with their own laundry.

They all contribute a page to the nature journal once a week.

And they are all very motivated!

To Do List

This week we will be taking a break from the Alphabet Path to catch up on some crafting.  Here's the plan:

• Sewing Kits - paint unfinished wooden boxes from Michael's and stock with girls' own scissors and notions
• Make the needle cases and pincushions from the Klutz sewing book and add to sewing kits.
• Make the Rainbow Flower Felting Kit that we didn't get to last week
• Make some wool flower fairies from the wool crafting book.
• Have a little Flower Fairy tea party as suggested in one of Sunshine's Flower Fairy books.
• Felt the Cardinal that we had planned to do on C week.
• And if we get to it - start reading all the Curious George books we own as a prelude to G week.  Make banana bread and other banana recipes.

A Challenge

We have done this for one week.  So far so good.  When winter sets in, however, I think it will be easier when this is going and we invest in some of these !

Next Year

I am printing this out for my October file!