Pinewood Castle

Is It Too Late . . .

to get rid of this crud?

I am not sure if we have the flu or bad colds. Everyone has had a fever except me. Everyone except DH is still coughing. That's all I have heard all day - the sound of coughing and PBS. All day, meaning since 1:30 pm when I finally woke up. I have never slept that long in my life. I've been coughing for seven days straight.

DH went to the store for elderberry, echinachea, and more soup,  juice and kleenex. I hope the end is near!

The "I Wants"

Do your kids make Christmas lists? Mine have started early this year. We don't spring for many requests between birthdays and Christmas so everything they ask for after their birthday garners the response, "Put it on your Christmas list!"

Their tastes are getting more expensive. Here are some of this year's wishes:

• a hang glider (yeah, right)
• a trampoline (more likely, but not in winter!)
• an American Girl doll (do we have to start that?)
• a rock tumbler (more likely)

Then the Young Explorers catalog arrived and was promptly swiped. The cutting and pasting began. The "I Wants" are like a mosquito bite that itches the more it's scratched. I find myself feeling annoyed the more they talk about their wish lists. I remind them that they are loved, fed, clothed, educated and well cared for - isn't that all they really need? Aren't they grateful?

But - I find that the "I Wants" are also contagious. Their dreaming even gets me thinking about things that would be nice to have if we had thousands of extra dollars. List-maker that I am I do confess to keeping mental lists. Here are a few several  ~

Things for DH:

• a snow thrower (have you seen how much these cost?)
• a garage make-over
• a pressure washer
• a riding lawn mower (except we have no where to put it)
• a generator
• hire out window washing
• hire out some interior painting
• a new car to replace his '96 Accord

The home improvement wish list:

• a new sofa (daily reading time has reduced the life of ours)
• granite counter tops
• ceramic tile the bathrooms
• a deck
• finish the basement
• re-do the flagstone patio that is constantly dirty and weedy and uneven
• re-do some of the garden beds and add a tall white lattice fence behind the east garden to block the view of our neighbor's weeds

The SAHM self-care dream items:

• new maternity clothes (mine are almost all 10 years old!)
• a spa package of regular pedicures, facials, and massages
• quality facial care products now that 40 is coming (next year)
• a professional weight loss program next summer after baby #5
• some new jewelry
• a gym membership and time to exercise

Financial "I Wants" should really come first before all the material wants. Achieving these goals would even free up a chunk of the monthly budget for a few extras:

• pay off my grad school loan
• pay off the van

Nothing urgent, just things that would be nice. Hopefully this is a little sign of detachment, right? My happiness does not depend on getting any of these items. Only a few eat at me a little - like the sagging sofa, dirty windows and the dark den on the north side of the house that could use a brighter hue of paint before daylight savings ends. But mostly, thanks to an abundance of progesterone these days, I am way too tired to get worked up about it!

I also try to avoid voicing these "I Wants" around the children because I don't want to set a bad example. Hopefully I am not the contagious one infecting the children!

Other needs always seem to come first before all the extras anyway - music lessons, winter clothing needs, fireplace cleaning, firewood purchasing and annual piano tuning are the biggies we currently face. Oh, and cell phones. Our Quest service is ending for good and we have to find another phone and another plan or be charged a de-activation fee. Looks like a somewhat necessary splurge (but not really necessary) will be made for I-Phones. Last year's version.

Each of us will probably get at least one thing we want this Christmas, all the time knowing that gifts are not what the Holy Day is really about. Christmas is about Jesus and while gift giving is one way of showing our love for one another, it is certainly not the focus.

The kids like to dream and so do I. I just have to remember a wise adage my mother taught me: If your outgo is more than your income, your upkeep will be your downfall!

Hottest Fashion Accessory for Homeschool Moms

When Jennifer mentioned that her secret to  a happy day involved wearing a pretty apron I was immediately intrigued. My only apron was a heavy blue denim that I only wore for things like cut-out cookies and splattering frying pans. When prompted, she offered this post, spilling more details about her delight in aprons. Now I see that Meredith has shared her favorite apron with us (I just love her big smile in this photo - even if the rest of her face is cut off!).

I sense a "tour of aprons" coming!

I will stand next in line here and offer a photo of my recent find at the Mill City Museum gift shop  (they sort of have a baking theme going on there)

I really like it so far, except for looking even more pleasantly plump in it than I already am which is why the photo only shows the apron and not me wearing it! The colors and floral print is romantic and have a pocket handy for putting my watch in during the children's bath time is a dream come true! Hopefully grease stains will now be a thing of the past!

Do you have a favorite?

A Baby I Will Miss Carrying

I experienced my first miscarriage during my blogging break. It was very early - a week or two or three depending on how you count.

It started about the 19th day of my cycle with hip and low back pain. I had such muscle spams I felt as if one wrong move would immobilize me and my back would "go out" as they say. After three visits to the chiropractor that took the edge off of my back pain I could sense more pain in my lower left pelvic area. The 27th day of my cycle I went in for an M.D. appointment in case I had an ovarian cyst or and ectopic pregnancy. Blood work was done that confirmed a positive pregnancy. Everything else was normal. I was reminded to continue to watch for symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy.

For a whole week we felt the excitement, wonder and awe of God's blessing us with another baby who would be born sometime around the EDD of February 25th, the feast of St. Caesarius. The children were excited, my DH was happy and I was happy yet a bit perplexed. The pain in my left side gradually faded and I refocused my attention to this blessing that was obviously part of God's will for us. I ordered prenatal vitamins and shared the news and perplexed feelings with one close friend.

In my efforts to rejuvenate my prayer life and faith in prayer I had been praying overlapping novenas to St. Therese and St. Joseph for the ability to move back to the city, closer to a parish we could call home; to be part of a faith community and have an easier time getting to Saturday confession and Mass on holy days.

Instead a new location, it seemed, God was giving us a new baby. I was okay with that. I felt rather humbled and honored that God thought we were up to responsibility of a fifth child.

Then about the 29th day of my cycle I began to bleed heavily for two days. Although I felt somewhat relieved that I wasn't too far along I also felt like seeing a teeny tiny baby come out would have given me a greater sense of reality and closure. Instead I was looking at chunks of bloody tissue just wondering how to identify where my baby was in all of this. Feeling uncertainty at having to flush the toilet, not knowing what part of what I saw was a growing embryo. Feeling let down that God was not going to give us a new baby after all.

On the heaviest day of bleeding we were in the cities all day for dental check-ups and to celebrating our little boy's birthday.

We named the baby Pat because this name could be for a boy or a girl. Also because our friend Pat helped watch the children while I was in the dentist's chair getting my teeth scraped and polished. She has been such a blessing to me over the years - calling every now and then to check in and offering the best advice and counsel any young mom could hope for.

Now I have a little time to grieve. Time to accept what has happened and find a was to rejoice in God's will rather than feel abandoned. Battling with my melancholic nature to despair is no easy task.

So pray for me and I will pray for you. I will ask our little baby Pat to pray for you too. After all God did give us a baby - one more voice for the heavenly choir (as Marie Bellet's song come to mind). One whom I will miss carrying in my arms but one who may help carry us closer to God and His perfect though perplexing will.

Prayers at Work

Dancer, "Has anyone commented about my 350 degree fever?"

Me, "Yes, people have been praying for you after your 106 degree fever!"

Many thanks are in order for your prayers this week for Dancer's quick recovery. The doctor thought she might have a fever for five days but she only had one for one day after beginning the antibiotic. I continue to pray that no damage was done by the high fever and that other symptoms of Lyme's do not visit my daughter's little body. Enough is enough.

Lesson learned: check for ticks every day because the ticks in our neighborhood carry Lyme's. The dad and his three of his four boys next door have had it. Another dad around the corner had it and ended up in the hospital with meningitis. Now the media tells us we have to be looking for these new striped-legged mosquitoes that carry encephalitis! Yikes!

God has been sending me consolations after bouts of difficulty with prayer. One instance occurred two weeks ago during Mass when the kneeler landed on my toe. Yes, the same toe I broke in April. The fierce protection I have developed of that toe was evidenced by the loud yelp that came out of my mouth. The brass and timpani did not mask the yell that resounded in the dome of this big Bavarian styled Church of St. Agnes. Then I remembered that there was a row of nuns sitting a few pews behind us. I was most embarrassed!

Turns out that having nuns behind you at such a time is a good thing. I apologized afterwards to them, explaining about my recently broken toe. Somehow they instinctively knew that the yelp was kneeler induced and prayed for the victim whose toe was most likely crushed. Well, miracle of miracles - my toe was scraped but otherwise unhurt.

Deo Gratias!

I am Pro-Choice! (when it comes to health care)

Remember when I posted the prayer request for the Hauser family before the story gained national attention? I pulled the posts because a commenter was trying to communicate with Colleen Hauser by leaving a comment for her on my blog. Not knowing whether or not Mrs. Hauser even reads my blog, I explained to the commenter that I felt his approach to be outside of my comfort zone and requested that he write to her directly.

Now that their story has come to a climax and seems to be coming to a happy conclusion I am still concerned with one of the main issues at stake here - freedom of choice when it comes to health care as well as disease care. Today's editorial in the Minneapolis Star Tribune illogically compared the Hauser's initial refusal to continue their son's chemotherapy to parents who make an informed decision to decline vaccinations for their children. This is exactly where I suspected the media's attention would lead - a movement to require vaccinations without the option of conscientiously declining.

Treating disease and preventing disease are two separate issues and require vastly different approaches. I do not believe that refusing to inject a perfectly healthy baby or child with vaccines can or should be considered the same as a cancer patient declining chemotherapy. I know the editor is trying to make a case for acting "responsibly" but I believe we should have the freedom to draw on our religious beliefs when it comes to responsibly treating disease and preventing disease - not the court. And if the courts begin to require vaccinations because it's "the responsible thing to do" will they eventually require or limit births in America because having more than two or three is "irresponsible"? I just think this illogical comparison leads to a slippery slope of lost freedom.

Personally speaking, when my husband and I researched the vaccinations before our first child was born we felt that we had read a great deal on both sides of the issue and felt the presentation on both sides rather twisted and very much like propaganda. Enough suspicion was raised that we did not feel comfortable allowing our first baby to be vaccinated. Our older three children have now received the DTaP on the "catch up schedule" and we intend to decline other vaccinations until morally acceptable alternatives are available.

Our decision was confirmed after learning that most available vaccinations in the U.S. are derived from aborted fetus cells. While the Catholic Church allows the faithful to use these vaccines, she strongly encourages us to seek alternatives and to pressure the pharmaceutical industry to create morally acceptable alternatives.

In 2005, the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith stated:

However,  in this situation, the aspect of passive cooperation is that which stands out most. It is up to the faithful and citizens of upright conscience (fathers of families, doctors, etc.) to oppose, even by making an objection of conscience, the ever more widespread attacks against life and the "culture of death" which underlies them. From this point of view, the use of vaccines whose production is connected with procured abortion constitutes at least a mediate remote passive material cooperation to the abortion, and an immediate passive material cooperation with regard to their marketing. Furthermore, on a cultural level, the use of such vaccines contributes in the creation of a generalized social consensus to the operation of the pharmaceutical industries which produce them in an immoral way.

Therefore, doctors and fathers of families have a duty to take recourse to alternative vaccines¹³  (if they exist),  putting pressure on the political authorities and health systems so that other vaccines without moral problems become available. They should take recourse, if necessary, to the use of conscientious objection ¹⁴ with regard to the use of vaccines produced by means of cell lines of aborted human foetal origin. Equally,  they should oppose by all means  (in writing, through the various associations, mass media, etc.) the vaccines which do not yet have morally acceptable alternatives, creating pressure so that alternative vaccines are prepared, which are not connected with the abortion of a human foetus,  and requesting  rigorous legal control of the pharmaceutical industry producers.

What I comprehend from this is that we as Catholics have the permission and even the encouragement from the Vatican to conscientiously object to receiving vaccines from aborted fetus cells as well as the duty to request alternatives, when available, in order to avoid passive cooperation to abortion.

The entire document is here.

This chart lists the vaccines come from aborted fetal cell lines. (There's no alternative for MMR!)

Also, the website run by Children of God for Life has a bounty of information including a page with links to differing the opinions of various prominent Catholics as to whether vaccinations are morally acceptable.

Please understand that I am closing comments on this one, only because I will be away from the computer for the next three days.

Pentecost blessings to you!

Waiting for the Weight to Come Off

Once again I am super impressed with all those participating in WOW. For me, I am still cheering them on from the sidelines, working through my own weight loss struggles and (honestly) trying not to be envious of those losing more weight than me!

A word of caution - if you are not obese now, don't start! It's like and unlike smoking except that it creeps up on you. Over the years or during pregnancy. Taking it off is a long road.

After six weeks I hit a plateau. My body is amazing! Amazingly efficient at adapting to new demands and wonderful at hoarding calories. An hour of exercise every day and clean eating had resulted in zero pounds lost for two weeks. I was fighting discouragement and sabotage and the "what's the use" battle until weighing in at the D.C. and finding my lean muscle tissue up and overall BMI down. "It's not as bad as you thought," my Dr. reassured me.

Armed with encouragement and timely tips I have rejoined the troops in the battle of the bulge and seeing that scale budge once again. Here's the tweaks to my previously posted plan:

• more protein - closer to 100 grams a day
• add resistance training (weights) and keep adding weight as it gets easier
• lighter suppers

I have some other random thoughts to share:

I have memories from my teaching days of being in the teacher's lounge and hearing other ladies talking about going on Slim-Fast for Lent. It always made me feel uncomfortable that they were just using Lent as a weight loss opportunity. I keep that in mind as I go and do my best to differentiate my new eating patterns from fasting for spiritual purposes. Also, many of my Lenten offerings have nothing to do with food.

The other is how wonderful and weird it is to actually lose weight. Wonderful in that clothes fit better and knowing the many health benefits of being a healthier weight. Weird in that I feel like I am disappearing and it feels a little scary. Kind of like just after giving birth and it feels like there's a part of your body you have lost and you kind of miss it.

Scaling Down

I must say I am super-impressed with the ladies reporting into W.O.W. What inspiration!

As for myself I am weighing in at the Dr.'s every other Friday on the fancy scale that also measures BMI. It is so thrilling to see the numbers on the scale budge! I have two items of happy news to report:

•  I am down 8 pounds since beginning one month ago
• I have exercised an hour every morning since January 12th

I am afraid that if I miss a day I'll never get going again! I have many months to go to reach the "healthy weight" range for my height.

I have been thinking lately about body image. In high school and college I thought I was overweight but now - oh if only I could have that body back! I am still repeating the same patterns I did then - lots of dieting and exercise followed by discouragement and quitting. I would eat a Snickers, thinking my figure was already ruined anyway. Time to break that pattern, wouldn't you say?

Another thing I have been thinking about is how Leslie Sansone (of Walk Away the Pounds) never talks about food, but only positive thinking. Well, I sure think about food. I believed I have been eating a mostly healthy and mostly organic whole foods diet, but here are a few things I am doing to move towards a low-glycemic diet:

• I gave up coffee after learning that caffeine elevates insulin response. I have tried a few "skinny decaf soy lattes" and have to say I much prefer Starbucks version over Caribou's. Organic loose-leaf tea at home has also been great for a warm drink.
• I traded out Rudi's organic whole grain bread for Ezekiel bread.
• I gave up, temporarily, my beloved organic butter from grass-fed cows for Smart Balance spray.
• I added plain kefir and GNC's Wheybolic Extreme protein powder (2 scoops = 40 grams of protein!) to my smoothies.
• I switched from sweetened Almond Breeze to Unsweetened.
• I am switching out canned beans for dried. We use a lot of beans around here, much to Dino's dismay! Dried beans require more planning to soak and cook, but they are lower glycemic!
• Low glycemic Balance Bars are a good snack in a pinch.
• Organic low-fat cottage cheese with sliced almonds and mandarin oranges = yum.
• I am baking with organic whole wheat flour and using Splenda instead of cane sugar. Even honey and dates are high-glycemic!
• More hard boiled eggs.
• More fish. Expensive (when your kids like fish too) but healthy.
• Eat every 2-3 hours.
• Keep a food journal.
• Eat breakfast like a queen, lunch like a princess and dinner like a pauper!

What do you do?

4 Mile!

The 4 mile walk came in the mail from Netflix and I must say I enjoy the change of pace. The women in this class actually break a sweat and come across to me as  - hard to put my finger on it - less nervous and more natural.

I can't believe I am doing this since three weeks ago I was a read-a-loud homeschooling couch and floor potato. The kickbacks don't make my hamstrings freeze up anymore. Thanks to everyone who has ever recommended Walk Away the Pounds - sorry it took me over a year to get started!

Walk Away Fans

Which Walk Away the Pounds DVD is your favorite? I started with the three mile and can mostly do it (working up to all the arm work). But familiarity breeds contempt. I don't mind the work-out as much as knowing the next time someone will get off step, when Beth will say, "Whew!" and when the lady in the back will say, "This is powerful!"

Otherwise I am liking Walk Away quite a bit. Which one should I try next?