Pinewood Castle

The "I Wants"

Do your kids make Christmas lists? Mine have started early this year. We don't spring for many requests between birthdays and Christmas so everything they ask for after their birthday garners the response, "Put it on your Christmas list!"

Their tastes are getting more expensive. Here are some of this year's wishes:

• a hang glider (yeah, right)
• a trampoline (more likely, but not in winter!)
• an American Girl doll (do we have to start that?)
• a rock tumbler (more likely)

Then the Young Explorers catalog arrived and was promptly swiped. The cutting and pasting began. The "I Wants" are like a mosquito bite that itches the more it's scratched. I find myself feeling annoyed the more they talk about their wish lists. I remind them that they are loved, fed, clothed, educated and well cared for - isn't that all they really need? Aren't they grateful?

But - I find that the "I Wants" are also contagious. Their dreaming even gets me thinking about things that would be nice to have if we had thousands of extra dollars. List-maker that I am I do confess to keeping mental lists. Here are a few several  ~

Things for DH:

• a snow thrower (have you seen how much these cost?)
• a garage make-over
• a pressure washer
• a riding lawn mower (except we have no where to put it)
• a generator
• hire out window washing
• hire out some interior painting
• a new car to replace his '96 Accord

The home improvement wish list:

• a new sofa (daily reading time has reduced the life of ours)
• granite counter tops
• ceramic tile the bathrooms
• a deck
• finish the basement
• re-do the flagstone patio that is constantly dirty and weedy and uneven
• re-do some of the garden beds and add a tall white lattice fence behind the east garden to block the view of our neighbor's weeds

The SAHM self-care dream items:

• new maternity clothes (mine are almost all 10 years old!)
• a spa package of regular pedicures, facials, and massages
• quality facial care products now that 40 is coming (next year)
• a professional weight loss program next summer after baby #5
• some new jewelry
• a gym membership and time to exercise

Financial "I Wants" should really come first before all the material wants. Achieving these goals would even free up a chunk of the monthly budget for a few extras:

• pay off my grad school loan
• pay off the van

Nothing urgent, just things that would be nice. Hopefully this is a little sign of detachment, right? My happiness does not depend on getting any of these items. Only a few eat at me a little - like the sagging sofa, dirty windows and the dark den on the north side of the house that could use a brighter hue of paint before daylight savings ends. But mostly, thanks to an abundance of progesterone these days, I am way too tired to get worked up about it!

I also try to avoid voicing these "I Wants" around the children because I don't want to set a bad example. Hopefully I am not the contagious one infecting the children!

Other needs always seem to come first before all the extras anyway - music lessons, winter clothing needs, fireplace cleaning, firewood purchasing and annual piano tuning are the biggies we currently face. Oh, and cell phones. Our Quest service is ending for good and we have to find another phone and another plan or be charged a de-activation fee. Looks like a somewhat necessary splurge (but not really necessary) will be made for I-Phones. Last year's version.

Each of us will probably get at least one thing we want this Christmas, all the time knowing that gifts are not what the Holy Day is really about. Christmas is about Jesus and while gift giving is one way of showing our love for one another, it is certainly not the focus.

The kids like to dream and so do I. I just have to remember a wise adage my mother taught me: If your outgo is more than your income, your upkeep will be your downfall!

Lessons to Learn

Here's what my lack of voice is teaching me today:

• When I whisper the children whisper back. It has been nice and quiet around here today.
• My kids are not as smart as I think they are.
  
• Even though it requires more effort I can still express annoyance when roused.
• I need to chill out about some things. Identification in the first step, right? Here's what's gong on:

1. Smarty pants behavior from my soon-to-be 9yo. Me, "Please put on the baby's coat." Her, "But the baby's coat doesn't fit me!" Do I just need to have a better sense of humor or should this reply be nipped in the bud? Maybe both? If I laugh it off and she sees it does not annoy me will she will stop doing it?
2. Lack of logical thinking from my soon-to-be 9yo. Me, "If 9 x 5 is 45, what is 5 x 9?" Her: blank stare. Repeat. Repeat. She obviously does not get it after weeks and weeks of the multiplication unit in the logically designed Singapore Math book. I spend 30 minutes at the computer printing off multiplication drills for her to do the next, well, how every many weeks it takes! Maybe we need to switch programs.
   
3. Lack of common sense from my 7yo girl. What I say: "Please go check the laundry in the dryer." What I would hope by now she knows I mean: "If it is dry take it out, if it is still wet start the dryer again." What she says, "It's still wet!" Repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat until I ask her what she should do next and lecture her on common sense.
4. Whining from 5yo boy. He is at the end of Explode the Code Book 1 and taking the little test at the end. He claims he can't read the three letter word choices as if we have not spent the last year and a half on all the letter sounds. I make him think for himself - it's an evaluation after all. It takes him a half hour or so and he makes several mistakes. Maybe we should take a break from ETC and do hands-on three letter word "works".
   

I think I will rest on the sofa while they are outside playing IN THE SNOW and think of some positive solutions!

Thinking Out Loud

In case I am not getting the silence thing this Lent, God has blessed me with a cold that moved to my throat and left my voice a mere whisper. I am sure I will learn a lesson (or two or three or four) today.

In resuming treadmill exercise I admit my Oprah taping habit has also resumed. While some shows are completely unpalatable others are fascinating. Yesterday's show (that I viewed this morning) featured Oprah's visit to the LDS ranch in TX. You know the one, right? It left me wondering why we are not hearing more about this in Catholic circles - are the differences between us a mere no-brainer or does their lifestyle hit a chord with traditional/orthodox Catholics? We do have much in common . . . I feel like there is a lot left unsaid about this group and a strange silence after the follow-up media coverage. Or maybe I have just missed it.

My overall impression is that these people are happy and healthy and should be left alone to serve God as they they believe. The raid on their compound seemed like overkill and could have been done with more respect.

So much about their way of life seems ideal. They revere their spiritual leader, dress modestly, value children and have a strong work ethic. They are self-sufficient with their system of communal food and clothing. They are by definition a cult, but they sure seem happy living in this cult.

It's the polygomy thing and underage marriages that are so appalling to most of us. While it's difficult to see the value of multiple wives, the understanding I came away with is that, one, they value large families so much that multiple wives serve the purpose of producing many children; and two, that the women living together in community learn many of the same lessons that nuns in a convent would encounter. They rise early, have order to their day, balance prayer and work and learn to get over petty differences that arise in communal living. And the underage marriages? Wasn't the Blessed Virgin underage? Yes, times were different . . . but how and when did this all change? I am not saying I agree, but just want to know more.

Just thinking out loud - I certainly do not intend to be inflammitory here. The means DO NOT justify the end. I just think it interesting that we share many of the same end goals. This issue leaves me feeling curious about Old Testament polygomy and the reasons for and against. I thought I read recently that in O.T. times polygomy was tolerated but not advised.

I also think it is interesting that they consider their temple desecrated. But why can't they re-consecrate the building rather than abandoning it?

I do not have time to read long links but would love to hear some nutshell answers you might have about polygomy and Mormonism. (Like, don't they believe that after they die they will rule their own planet?)

Mostly, learning about this issue (as well as the Octomom - another subject) leaves me feeling grateful to be a part of the Catholic Church!

Weekly Food for Thought

A Holy Experience on homeschooling - some excerpts:

I do not think in any way that homeschooling makes a family virtuous. Homeschooling is not a formula for perfection, nor is homeschooling a panacea for all the sin in this world. We're all messy and fallen and sin-scraped. We and our children are born sinners. Homeschooling will not fix any of that. Only Jesus and His grace can.

Scholastically, our aim for our children asks the same question that esteemed educator Charlotte Mason asked: "The question is not, 'how much does the youth know?' when he has finished his education––but how much does he care? and about how many orders of things does he care? In fact, how large is the room in which he finds his feet set?"

Homeschooling is about going higher up and deeper in, for you learn to sacrificially love in ways you have never loved before. You come to know your own heart in ways you never imagined, the souls of your children in intimate, very real ways.

Read more here and have a lovely weekend, dear friends, whatever your crazy weather. Floods, fires, 10 inches of snow back home in Tulsa (!!!).

Time and Money, Money and Time Ramblings

How are your husbands doing at work? Our you, for those of you who are employed?

The good news at my husband's company is that that there will be not be any lay-offs. The bad news is that no one gets a raise. No raise is better than no job these days!

In years past, raises have helped us to save more, give more and add some expenses to the budget such as music lessons or a car payment. The prospect of not getting that raise has gotten us tightening our belts more than usual.

My mother's adage comes to mind, "If your outgo is more than your income, your upkeep will be your downfall."

Better reign in my upkeep!

And time, how are you doing on time? I spent most of my time in the kitchen today, baking bread, cooking double batches of meals to put in the freezer and grocery shopping. I didn't get to anything else on my list. My husband got to doing the bills and balancing the checkbook as well as refilling the bird feeders, but not much else besides spending time with the children which of course is always valuable. But at the end of the day he remarked, "It's like we need two Saturdays - one for you and one for me!"

Two things came to mind - one was wondering how could I ever find time for a part-time job if we really needed the extra income. The second was how much I miss doing things from 9-11 pm before I started the early morning workout and going to bed early.

Of course that brings to mind the another famous piece of advice, "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man (or woman?) healthy, wealthy and wise."

True?

A New Year

Do you make resolutions? Seems kind of redundant for Catholics. I mean, we make then during Lent. We make some during Advent. We make them when we pray the Act of Contrition and when we go to confession. And I think at those times and in that context we get the grace from God to actually stick to them.

But it doesn't stop me from making them anyway, along with many plans for the new year. So my list for 2009 is an odd mix of resolutions and plans. It looks something like this:

• exercise regularly (after cleaning the basement and reacquainting myself with my treadmill I already feel like less of a blob!)
• start program with nutritionist/chiropractor I've been seeing after the car accident for health overhaul (further thyroid testing, low glycemic diet, de-tox program)
• get mercury fillings out now that the baby is weaned
• read more
• knit more - learn to knit more than just scarves
• bake more bread
• join YMCA this summer
• cook more meals for the freezer for easier weeknights
• go to the North Shore and Canada this summer
• explore future career ideas for my empty nest years (I need more social security points!)
• more love

The last one is the one that's really been bugging me. I need to take some time to recharge my love batteries.

When I struggle daily to get the kids to obey promptly I think "Love makes obedience easy. How much do I really love them and do they really love me? Do I model politeness and patience or are they just deaf and resistant to remembering the steps of our well-posted routines?"

When my husband and I quarrel or at a stand-off I think, "CLANGING CYMBAL!"

And most of all with prayer and Catholic devotions that sometimes feel tedious I think, "True love of God should really be the foundation out of which these devotions flow" and wonder if my efforts are sincere. More on this later - it's on my heart after reading Called Out of Darkness, conversion story of author Ann Rice (thanks, Sheri!)

So this is a small part of my ongoing conversion - more love. Taking joy in serving my family. With real love for God as the foundation of it all.

Thank you, everyone who reads this, for your support and friendship.

I wish you many blessings and graces for the New Year. Pray for me and I will and do pray for you too!

Tracy

Baby Steps

I took the time this morning to kneel by my bed and pray. The house was still quiet. Mostly. I thought I was the only awake person upstairs. Until - my ears heard, "Will you please do my hair?" My eyes saw my daughter smiling brightly holding her comb and pony tail holder. A small part of me wanted to break down and plead, "Can't you see that I am praying? Please leave me alone if you see that I am praying!" And another part wanted to go further, aim and fire, "How can you expect me to be a good and patient mother today if I can't even have time to pray?" and on and on and on.

What happened instead?

I smiled. I said yes. I did her hair, hugged her and drunk her in. I sang to her that song from Captain Kangaroo - "Good morning, Sunshine, hello how do you do? I'm happy to see you and the good times that you bring. Everybody sing . . . "

Hmmm

Like a spa treatment for my stove top -